The French Disconnection – The Golden Parachute Continues!

Here are Week 18 @Twitstery tweets of “The Golden Parachute” the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance

But what possible link could there be between a poorly run medical school, Chinese manipulation of rare earth metals and corn shortages?

Or the school, Icelandic volcano eruptions, Hurricane Sandy and the 03 eastern power outage? I’d better ignore their warnings and go myself.

I pay for gas, two Taquitos and a Big Gulp. Gas for now, gas for the road, gas for later. By the time I return to the pump, my car is gone.

Stranded at 7-Eleven in the middle of nowhere, I stare at the empty space by the pump. Looks like I’m going to need more than two Taquitos.

The car thief could be miles away by now. I regret that I filled up my tank. I take a bite from one of my Taquitos.I regret doing that.

Is a carjacking part of an attempt to intimidate and delay? Could the medical school principals I just left have arranged this so quickly?

Auto alone, a gentle breeze caresses my face. Wait. A breeze. I realize what happened. I had left my wind-powered hybrid’s sails unfurled.

With a favoring breeze, my car could be miles away by now. I regret I left my sails up. I take a draw from my Big Gulp. I regret doing that.

Brain freeze! As I straighten up again I spot my car behind 7-11, slammed up against the store’s dumpster. It had been there the whole time.

I check the dumpster for clues and my car for scratches. Negative, both. I leave my remaining food and drink in the trash and head for town.

Driving the lonesome highway I reflect on the case so far. Regi Granger is missing classes at a medical school led by an ADHD Chancellor.

Perhaps more troubling, the tongue-tied director of admissions has a faulty memory and the junior accountant CEO can’t account for anything.

I’m halfway back to the city when I realize I’m being followed. It’s hard to miss the small gray Honda with the Zipcar logo on each door.

I swerve onto an off-ramp and the Honda sails on past.  Mission accomplished. 45 minutes later I find the on-ramp back to the highway.

Before I’ve gone far the Zipcar is behind me again. It appears there’s only one way to lose my pursuer: A high-speed chase through traffic.

I step on my accelerator, weave in and out of traffic blasting my car horn. I’m sideswiped by a yellow Ford Fairlane but I don’t slow down.

I hit a truck turning left and swerve into oncoming traffic. My car spins around narrowly missing a bus. I hit the brake and speed up again.

Oh my God! Where in hell did that woman with the baby carriage come from? I yank my car hard right and plow into a pile of box garbage.

Missing mother and child, I keep going. I screech to a stop and bolt up the stairs. The train surges through the station without stopping.

Cursing, I go on. Horn blaring, pounding on my steering wheel, I challenge traffic and pedestrians alike. So far no one has been killed.

I stop at the next station and stagger to the entrance. Nicoli is descending the steps. I yell “Hold it!” He turns to escape and I fire.

(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery)

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