I Do Not Have A Gentle Heart – The Golden Parachute Continues!

Here are Week 20 @Twitstery tweets of “The Golden Parachute” the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance

No reply from inside the Zipcar. I haven’t many items of clothing left to remove. Then the driver’s window glides down. “Hey! You Arkaby?”

I tense every muscle. “I’m DETECTIVE Arkaby. Sup?” An envelope flies out of the car and hits me in the forehead. “Consider yourself served.”

A Zipcar process server? I’m not ready for that. The Zipcar drives off and I’m left holding the envelope. I wonder who could be suing me.

It might be what I thought was the Rough in the Diamond gang who “stole” the pedestal for the Hopewell Diamond but left the diamond behind.

It turned out they were pedestal repairmen, not thieves and would remount the diamond upon its return. I guess I shouldn’t have used my gun.

Bullet holes are not considered of curatorial value. And I discovered too late the Wall in the Hole “perp” got stuck exiting his own house.

The “missing juvenile” I recovered was actually a full-grown little person doing his “Furrie” thing. That was good for two EEOC lawsuits.

The French government filed a formal protest over my arrest of one of their WW I pilots after accusing him of alien flower child abduction.

Next time I’ll look with my eyes rather than my heart. Or It might be recently early paroled Waldo, whose whereabouts are currently unknown.

Which juvenile lit delinquent, tween, rodent, monster or freak is behind this harasssing lawsuit? I sit down at my desk to open the summons.

Blah blah blah, you are hereby…blah blah… balance of payment…30 days…$40,000 outstanding balance. This is a complaint from my hospital stay!

While investigating Granger’s murder, I auto-multitasked. I was on cell phone, recorder and laptop. I held a paper pad and pen in my mouth.

I went a driving distraction too far and entered a mental multitasking fugue. My mind left my body and I attempted parallel universe parking

That’s where you try to parallel park in two universes at the same time. I awoke in Willum Granger’s cloning lab, “Body Parts R Us”.

This is wrong. Though I dodged BP R U’s attempts to clone my face and still sustained a $40,000 hospital bill, I’ve paid off $10K already.

It’s time to strike back. There’s an error in BP R U’s collection agency summons. I’ve determined my doppelGränger isn’t undead or a clone.

Something is rotten in the state of Regi Granger’s medical school. “A Dream of Spring”, Book 7 of Game of Thrones, won’t be out ’til 2019.

I have thirty days to respond to this summons. I’ll fly to the Caribbean, rescue Regi and then pay off my debt with the doppelGränger’s fee.

This means George R. R. Martin will have to finish Game of Thrones on his own, but my path is clear. I book the next flight to Puerto Rico.

Regi’s school resides on a tiny Caribbean island, as far south as you can fly before hitting South America, accessible only via Puerto Rico.

According to my travel app, the only regularly scheduled airline, Fiat Air, flies twice a week from Puerto Rico to my ultimate destination.

(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery)

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