Here are Week 22 @Twitstery tweets of “The Golden Parachute” the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance
He’s short and wide and the only thing aviator about him are his army surplus flight goggles and his air of condescension. “You’re a pilot?”
“No, I’m Superman. Do you like my new secret identity? Here’s my card.” I take the card wondering how long it would take to charter a boat.
The card reads “David’s Air Taxi Service and Storm Door Co.” On back is a photo of his plane, a winged yellow taxi:
Studying the image of his blue and yellow twin prop with an apparent nose baggage compartment, I see right through his obvious obfuscation.
“If you really are Superman, why the airplane?” “With a plane like that, you’d better know how to fly.” “Can it make it where we’re going?”
“I fly from here to Grenada all the time. We just have to glide a little farther.” “You fly to Spain?” “That’s Granada. I meant Grenada.”
“You say Grenada, I say Granada. Let’s call the whole thing off.” “OK but it’s your funeral. You’ll never get a flight out of this airline.”
“I’m stuck in here? Why is that?” “Fiat pilots are afraid to fly to your island.” “They just flew their only plane out of here.” “Exactly.”
“Why are Fiat pilots afraid to fly there?” “The airfield sucks for a big plane. It’s just a windy plateau surrounded by mountain peaks.”
“I fear nothing.” “Wait ’til you fly with me. If you don’t believe in a higher power now, you will.” “How high?” “Oh, about 100 feet high.”
“How about I fly you down to Grenada instead? I’m sure you can find something almost as good there.” “Do they have a major medical school?”
“How the hell would I know? They do have a much better airport. I’m sure they have something.” “I’m looking for a medical school student.”
“Aren’t we all? Maybe a Grenada medical school is good enough for you.” “Not likely. Any similarity between schools is purely coincidental.”
“We got a deal?” I consider my options. Remain suitless in Puerto Rico and return home emptyhanded, or I can fly the air taxi. “How much?”
“Strictly on the meter. You coming back?”I thought about it. This shouldn’t take long and it’s on the doppelGränger’s dime.”Of course.”
“Wait time will also be on the meter. Any bags?” “I have no baggage.” “How nice for you, but we’ll need something for ballast in the nose.”
“Hmm. Before I decide, I’d like to see your plane.” “Follow me.” We leave the terminal and walk in the Puerto Rican heat past the airfield.
David’s plane rests in a special spot at the end of the parking lot. It looks a lot worse for wear in person. “Can I see that photo again?”
He holds up the shot of his plane. “The light here is bad.” “Yes, there is light.” “It flies better than it looks.”
“You can get this thing off the ground?” “When the wind is right. You don’t have a suitcase so I need to put a bag of sand in the nose.”
“What happens if you don’t ballast the front?” “The nose rides up and I have trouble seeing.” A boat charter is looking better and better.
(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery)