Ne Buvez Jamais D’eau – The Golden Parachute Continues!

Here are Week 34 @Twitstery tweets of “The Golden Parachute” the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!

Piling some remaining Great Books on the cage kept the monkey in place. Upon my skiing roommate’s return I sent him and his mascot packing.

Alas poor monkey! You lived under interesting tomes! Thoughts of that monkey chase of yore make me hesitate in the Yorick pursuit of now.

There’s no sign of Regi or Yorick. I face a small building with two entrances. Hesitating no more, I choose the one on the left and go in.

I immediately regret my choice. I’ve entered a room that looks like the morgue autopsy room. The smell of formaldehyde is overpowering.

A hauntingly familiar cadaver lies in state on the steel table. On my left someone has mounted a disturbing image:

 
 

Also in view: Hogarth’s “The Reward of Cruelty”

 
and Rowlandson’s “Death in The Dissecting Room.”

Never drink water indeed! What chamber of horrors have I stumbled into? I tear myself away from the prints on the wall and examine the body.

A body on a table. This is my area of expertise. Is there evidence of foul play? The cadaver seems to have an erection. That can’t be right.

Prepped for a gross anatomy lab, the body disturbs me, and not in a homophobic-necrophilia manner. I examine the sutures circling his waist.

Anatomy class usually involves cutting things open or off. Why would someone join these body halves together? I know I’ve seen him before.

The corpse’s toe tag reads “Property of Founders Memorial Cemetery, (Cadaver Exchange). The truth hits me like a reflex hammer to the head.

The French boy was peeing into the water supply! I’m drinking only bottled water from now on. I still don’t know the deal with this cadaver.

Why sever a cadaver? In a flash I realize I’ve been deceived by the bald head and lack of a moustache. The split midriff is a dead giveaway.

Are these the shaven remains of Willum Mortimus Granger I see before me? He’s been dead these four years. I’m mortified! How is it he isn’t?

At least I think he’s dead four years. First his spirit visited my office and sent me on this dismal mission. Now his sheared body shows up.

Regi can identify her father’s body. I must find her, fast. As I leave the lab I notice more prints:

“How practical?”

Even worse is this one:

“Business is business?” What sort of medical training are they giving students at this school?

In the lab next door Regi slumps on the floor while nearby, Yorick inspects a human humerus. Lifting her head she says “I’m tiring him out.”

I say “You’re doing fine. In a few hours he’ll have the complete skeleton.” “You’re not helping.” “Maybe you can lure him into a rib cage.”

Regi sits up.”Will you help me catch Yorick?” “Will you come back to the States with me?” “Nothing you say can make me change my mind.”

“I don’t need to say anything.” “Good. You’re finally making sense. “I don’t need to make sense.  I need your opinion about something.”

(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery)

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