“You don’t need to brag, you need to come clean about the black market cadaver business.” “Hey! You called me. Don’t blame the messenger.”
Regi says “We have to hurry. Whoever left Dad will return.” I mute the phone. “Get ready. I’ll deal with this loser.” “Hey, I can hear you.”
“My mute doesn’t work.” I frown and unmute the phone. “David, how soon can you meet us?” “Us?” “Yes. This is a father/daughter outing.”
“Touching. Which is the body?” I glance at Regi. “The father” I say. “I bet. You have to wait ’til after dark. The Chancellor is on-campus.”
Regi and I exchange furtive glances. I’ll have to remember to get mine back from her when this is all over. We say “The Chancellor is here?”
“He came with his posse by which I mean his accountants.” “Does he know I’m here?” “I doubt it.” “We can’t let him learn what we’re up to.”
Just then the Chancellor’s voice booms over the speaker system: “ATTENTION ALL FACULTY, STAFF AND STUDENTS! THERE’S AN INTRUDER ON CAMPUS!”
“EVERYONE BEGIN AN IMMEDIATE SEARCH OF ALL BUILDINGS, LABS AND CLASSROOMS. SECURITY SECURE ALL EXITS SECURELY!” Regi says “We’re trapped!”
“We deserve better.” “How does he know what we’re doing!” “Maybe someone IS reading my tweets.” “You should stop doing that.” “I should.”
“We have one chance. All the students and school personnel are probably still drunk or hung over. They won’t be much use searching for us.”
“We just need a diversion to sneak out to the airstrip.” “I can put on a bikini.” Regi glares at me and says “Not that kind of diversion.”
“We’ll think of something. David, where do we meet you?” “They never have a guard at parking lot entrance. I’ll bring my jeep.” “Good idea.”
“One thing bothers me. How did the Chancellor get here so fast? There are no flights during the week. That’s how I got stuck with David.”
David says “I still can hear you. The Chancellor has his own plane so he can fly down to his school anytime he wants.” “Tough luck for us.”
Preparing her father’s body for the trip, Regi says “I have a bag, but I need something to stabilize him for the trip.” “I’ll find padding.”
I peek outside. A twilight sun casts strange shadows as shambling students search the surrounds. It’s like a Night of the Living Dead Drunk.
Hundreds of them, looking for us. This is my kind of fight. He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword, but not before he lives a little.
Though I like the odds, I decide to fight another day. I slip into the lab next door where Yorick is emptying out all the filing cabinets.
As I gather scattered papers for padding Yorick tosses a book at me and dashes next door. Good riddance. He returns brandishing a golf club.
Yorick is part of a research protocol where they give an infinite number of monkeys an infinite number of golf clubs to set their handicaps.
(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery)