Black smoke rises from the medical campus obscuring the sun. All that’s left of the Chancellor’s University is an 18 hole monkey golf course
Maybe he’ll open a golf resort or a circus. Tough break for all, especially the research monkeys who now may have to compete for tee times.
No time for tee and sympathy. I have a job to do. Willum Granger’s body in our hold is proof of the Chancellor’s underhanded undertaking.
I have to make sure he and his cronies leave the education business to professionals. Regi says “Do you think Yorick made it out alive?”
“I doubt it. He was dueling with the Chancellor who has the reach and also, a sword.” Regi says “I’d like to think Yorick had the moves.”
“Maybe. He is a research monkey after all.” “Golf research! I’ll contact the Nonhuman Rights Project to get a him declared a legal person.”
“The Chancellor can’t be declared legal.” “I’m talking about Yorick the monkey. If he has survived he deserves a better life than golfing.”
The plane’s engine noise icreases. We cruise 100 feet over the ocean. David says “Would anyone care for a refreshing beverage?” “Yes.” “NO!”
“Here, hold this.” Regi takes hold of a rope end and the plane dips down to the water surface. David throws a netbag of cans out the window.
The rope slips through Regi’s hand and the bag of soda cans disappears into the deep. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING?” they scream simultaneously.
David says “You dropped my drinks into the drink!” Regi says “Are you out of your mind? You can’t chill soda cans that way!” “I can and do.”
I say “That’s not the worst he does. Notice the plane has no bathrooms?” Regi looks around the tiny cabin. “What have you gotten me into?”
Flying with the world’s worst pilot so longer seems like a good idea. We have a long flight ahead of us. I need to diffuse the situation.
Before I can jump in David speaks. “Relax doll. The odds of the same plane almost crashing on both legs of a trip are nearly microscopic.”
“How do you figure that?” “The same way I fly, by the seat of my pants.” I wonder if it wouldn’t be better to fly without the headphones.
“You almost crashed?” “Yeah. We disagreed about me peeing out the window and almost bought the farm.” I say “You’re really not helping.”
David says “I’m getting to that. Your girlfriend dumped all the soda, so peeing won’t be a problem.” “I’m not his girlfriend.” “Uh huh.”
I realize I’m famished. I can’t recall when I last ate. Oh yes, taquitos. “OK, no drinks. What have you got to eat?” “I got salted peanuts.”
David hands out peanuts which we devour. After several packages I realize I’m thirsty. I can’t recall when I last drank. Oh yes, Big Gulp.
Regi says “I’m thirsty.” “Yeah, me too.” David says “Can’t help you.” “How long ’til we reach Puerto Rico?” “Not sure. Couple of hours.”
Couple of hours! Mr. Peanut is astairing a Gay Divorcee gavotte down my windpipe, with Ginger! “Got anything onboard to quench our thirst?”>/span>
(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery)