Bigger Than Viagra! – “The Golden Parachute” Continues!

Here are Week 51 @Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!


Dash hands the guard a binder. “My permits beat his.” Dot says “Damn it Dash!” The guard says “And where are you from?” “Body Parts R Us.”


“You’re from the same organization as him?” “Yes.” “Are you also head clown?” “Cloner. Yes I am.” “You don’t need two permits. One will do.”


“Look again. Cut in two, Willum Granger remains a severed executive. Dr. Dot’s permit applies to only his top half. Mine is for the bottom.”


“You need both permits.” Dot says “Split permits? I have the prior claim. You’re pathetic.” The guard reviews Dash’s paper. “He’s right.”


Dot says “I don’t care who’s right. I won’t deal with him!” Dash says “That’s not something you can do on a whim.” “You’re doing it again!”


“Can I get an amen?” Dot’s right. Dash danced his rhyming two-step one too many times. I cut in quickly to avert a full-blown poetry slam.


Regi says “Will we finish here soon?” “Why?” “I want to get Dad home and get him re-buried. Then I want to sue the plots off that cemetery.”


Dot says “We have to sort out who gets the body.” “This is my father. He belongs to me!” I say “Is it me or is Puerto Rico always this hot?”


The guards look confused. We’re all sweating, standing on the sun-drenched tarmac. Finally, One guard says “Yes, it’s always this hot here.”


Another guard says “Except, of course, at night.” “Yes. Sometimes it is quite pleasant” says a third.” Dot says “WHO CARES ABOUT THE HEAT?”


I say “Granger’s body isn’t getting any fresher in this heat and neither is mine. Can we move indoors?” Dot says “I have a plane waiting.”


“I must examine the body in my lab.” “I’m completely willing to split the tab.” Regi says “There’s never a blunt object when you need one.”


Dot looks directly at Dash and says “You’re out of your depth.” Dash says “Damn!” “And you’re not splitting my father!” I say “One problem.”


Dash howls “NOTHING RHYMES WITH DEPTH!” Dot smiles at me and says to Dash “Bite me.” Regi adopts a defensive stance. I repeat “One problem.”


That’s why Dash didn’t tease Dot before! Dot used my suggestion to end all his sentences with non-rhyming words. I repeat “One problem.”


“What” screams Dash “is your problem?” “It’s not my problem, it’s your problem. Granger is no longer split in two.” Dot and Dash say “Huh?”


“Someone put Humpty together again.” “That’s not possible. Open the bag.” “Over my dead body” says Regi. “Our dead body” the two docs say.


“There were no King’s horses” says Dot. “Nor King’s corpses” says Dash. Dot rolls his eyes. “We want to confirm this is Willum Granger.”


Regi and I brace ourselves. Non-rhyming words are the key. Before I think of one, the head guard says “Nobody is opening nothing out here.”


The other guards draw their weapons. Dot says “Don’t you understand? This may be the most important biogenic discovery since the Viagra.”


“This body is perfectly preserved.” “In that case, my superiors should have a look.” “Airport administration?” “We’re not from the airport.”

(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery)

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