Hitchhiker’s Guide to Reality – “The Golden Parachute” Continues!

Here are Week 55@Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!

I ask “If you don’t like flying, why are you a pilot?” “One has to use one’s gifts.” “Gifts?” “Yes. I’m a great pilot who hates to fly.”

What a great trip. First, I get the world’s worst pilot who loves his job, then I get this clown who shares his fear of flying en route.

Why has Granger’s doppelgänger sent me on a wild goose chase? I rescued Regi and uncovered her father’s parts in an illicit cadaver scheme.

What did he say to me? “There are plans afoot to alter the very structure of reality.” Huh? He also said he wasn’t a ghost, clone or zombie.

Granger cloned his body to meet an emergency. His death cut that short. To fulfil my pledge I had to step in. And then restore the shilling.

We cruise at a reasonable altitude. The cabin is soundproof and quiet. Regi shifts in her seat and her hand brushes my side jacket pocket.

She reaches in and pulls out the book from the anatomy lab. “What’s this?” “I don’t know. Some kind of guidebook but it doesn’t make sense.”

“Yorick tossed it at me when I was gathering packing materials.” Regi shuffles through the pages. “It seems to be some kind of manifesto.”

She reads “‘Existential Reality Update Prototype Template. The present Reality will be superseded by Version 2015.’ What does that mean?”

“‘Though Reality is not copy protected, fair use stipulations still apply. Use for educational purposes, but do not offer copies for sale.'”

“‘Idiosyncratic reality testing may be conducted at the user’s discretion.’ A new version of reality? What does that mean?” “It’s a joke.”

“This doesn’t sound like a joke, it sounds like directions: ‘The reality update can be networked in order to permit multiple realities.'”

“You CAN go home again. If home doesn’t exist in your current reality, this update’s windows allow you to go into someone else’s home.”

Regi reads “‘When leaving one reality, please turn off lights and lock up.’ This reads like a plan to alter the very structure of reality.”

“A plan to alter the very structure of reality.” I’ve heard that line before! I recall the incredible assertion of Granger’s false double.

Not too long ago Granger’s doppelgänger materialized at the door to my office, like the ghost of Jacob Marley. Scared the dickens out of me!

Averring a scheme afoot to ALTER REALITY by instigating disasters, shortages and currency modification, he sent me on this quixotic mission.

A sudden realization hits me like the wet kiss of a soft boot on slick pavement. I haven’t been getting any receipts for my travel expenses!

Dot says “It sounds like a bunch of monkey business. Who gave you that book?” “A monkey.” Or is it the cataclysm the doppelgänger predicted?

It’s time to tell the truth. “Regi, I didn’t just show up at your school. I was sent to find you and bring you out.” “What are you saying?”

(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery)

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