Body Parts R Us Revisited – “The Golden Parachute” Continues!

Here are Week 67 @Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!

“As we shifted in time to the horse and buggy era everything transformed to a pre-modern state except my phone. Even our clothing changed.”

“You wore spats.” “And you, a corset.” “I remember not being able to breathe.” ‘Yet my cell still worked.” “Why was that?” “I don’t know.”

“You had cell service in Victorian England?” “Apparently.” “And Twitter?” “Yes and it’s funny because I’m not on an international carrier.”

We ride in silence, considering the implications. Then I say “Who knows where we’ll end up next time?” “No idea. What if we can’t get back?”

“I don’t know how we got back this time.” “Turn your phone off.” “That’s crazy! Why would that work?” “Have you ever turned it off?” “No.”

Before I can continue, my cell phone rings. “Hello?” “Please hold for Dr. Dash.” “Hello?” “Hello? Who is this?” “Dash?” “Yes, who is this?”

“This is Arkaby.” “What do you want?” “You called me.” “No I didn’t.” “Your secretary asked me to hold for you.” “I don’t have a secretary.”

I checked my Caller ID. “Somebody just called from the Body Parts R Us number and asked me to hold for you.” “Somebody or something?” “Huh?”

“Our IVR system is still malfunctioning. This isn’t the first time we found it dialing out.” “I was called by an answering machine?” “Yes.”

Dot says “Let me speak to him.” I pass my phone. “Dash you idiot! What are you doing with my hospital?” “It’s not me. It’s this damn IVR.”

“Shut off the damn thing!” “I did. It turns itself on! I don’t know how!” I whisper to Regi “Your father let these clowns operate on him?”

Regi whispers “Dad wasn’t quite himself after his brain transplant.” I say “Dot, ask Dash if he’s experienced any chronological anomalies.”

Dot says “I can’t. I’ve lost the connection.” As he hands me my phone, we pull into the Body Parts R Us campus. “Then I’ll ask in person.”

I experience mixed emotions. Last time I came here I had suffered a parallel universe parking mishap and barely escaped unelective surgery.

I still owe Body Parts R Us big time for that inopportunity. Thirty thousand bucks big time. On the other hand, here I first met Regi.

Inspired by my video press conference, Regi took investigative matters into her own hands. Searching for the killer, she found me instead.

The rest is twitstery. Now here we are again at the still-not-completed BP R U main building. Dot pulls past into his private parking space.

Dot says “Wait in my office. There’s not much you two can do until we complete the autopsy.” “I can assist. I’m first term med.” “Uh huh.”

“We enter a concave corridor stretching in both directions like the centrifuge habitat of ‘2001’. New construction is visible everywhere.

Last time I was here I was told that the Body Parts R Us facility is always under reconstruction, as if they can’t agree on a final form.

That was four years ago and the reconstruction continues. I ask Dot “Why are you always rebuilding?” “We’re just perfectionists.” “Uh huh.”

(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery)

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