Google Glasshole in Training – “The Golden Parachute” Continues!

Here are Week 74 @Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!

I realize it’s just a figurehead. Apparently, Singularities grok from the head down. I don’t trust a machine that won’t look me in the eye.

Picking up the head, Farley says “I’ll handle this.” He puts the head back on the robot body. “Return to your post.” “I’m way ahead of you.”

The robot rolls away. Regi asks “What is ‘hybrid computing’?” Farley says “It refers to humans assisting a computer to solve certain tasks.”

Farley glances towards the robot docent. “We can’t talk here. The ‘wall-e’ has ears.” “Yes. We wouldn’t want our activities made public.”

We use the Evolution Museum’s back door, entering a familiar hospital corridor. Regi says “Wasn’t this my room during my last stay here?”

I say “Yes. You thought someone was sleeping in your bed.” “And you thought a pizza box and stack of flyers was an intruder.” “It was dark.”

Rousting Regi’s intruder wasn’t my most shining moment. Catching my hospital robe in the door, I launched headfirst into a bowl of tapioca.

Tapioca always turns my stomach especially after turning cartwheels. Considering what might have been in that bowl, I was happy for tapioca.

Without mishap we pass through the ward and enter Farley’s office. A Boeing 767 would easily fit into the space. I say “Compensating much?”

“What would Freud say about big offices?” “He’d say sometimes an office is just an office.” Regi says “Can you two stop measuring offices?”

Farley says “She’s right. Too much at stake. Take a seat.” The only chair in the room is behind the main desk. “Thanks. I already have one.”

I stand toe to toe with the evil twin. “OK doppelGränger. Time to spill your guts.” Regi says “Arkaby!” “Oh, right. Your brother did that.”

“HE WAS ALSO MY FATHER!” “And he was MY victim. I mean he was my case’s victim. I mean he was A’s victim but in fact he was his own victim.”

“Calm down you two! There are bigger fish to fry.” I say “Lunch can wait. It’s time you tell us the truth.” “Yes Uncle, what’s this about?”

“You sent Arkaby to the Caribbean to rescue me from medical school.” “Yes, just in time.” “I didn’t need rescuing. What was so critical?”

“Take a look around my office. What don’t you see?” The cavernous space is empty except for a tiny desk. “I barely see anything.” “Exactly”

“Exactly what? Nothing’s here.” “You don’t see the bare desk?” “No, I see that.” “What strikes you about the desk?” “It’s…bare?” Exactly.”

“I brought Regi back to contemplate the proposition ‘Less is More’?” “I’m saying my office is bare for a reason.” Regi says “Which is?”

“There is no phone. No Internet. No cable. There are no media whatever. We are completely cut off from the communications infrastructure.”

“Um.” “This office is totally secure. If what is happening is REALLY happening, this room may be the safest place on the planet.” “Um.”

“How about memorializing the occasion?” Holding up my phone I snap Regi and Farley. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT IN HERE?” “Memorializing.”

(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery)

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