Sail on, Paradigm Shifts! — Tweeted Mystery “The Golden Parachute” Continues

Here are Week 97 @Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!

“Uh, sure! On my way! Why is the ringtone ‘Brown Eyed Girl’?” “I like ‘Brown Eyed Girl.'” “You know my eyes are blue don’t you?” “Uh, sure!”

“I just like that song.” “What about ‘Sweet Child O’ Mine’?” “What about it?” “‘She’s got eyes of the bluest skies…'” “That’s good too.”

“‘I’d hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain.'” “Still quoting Guns N’ Roses?” “Just saying it would make a good ring tone.”

“Got it.” “Where do we go, where do we go?” “GOT IT!” “No seriously. Where do we go?” “Regi, I’m calling on a payphone in my communal cell.”

There’s a line waiting behind me that’s, let’s say, impatient. Get me out of here to a warm safe place and I’ll figure out where do we go.”

“Are you still tweeting?”

“Of course I am.”

“Is that why you take so long to answer me?

“Yes.”

“You have to finish our conversation and then tweet it afterwards.”

“OK. Why do I have to tweet everthing?”

“I’LL BE DONE IN A MINUTE!” “Huh?” “I was speaking to the guy behind me.” “Why do we tweet?” “We tweet so that we can get up again.” “Huh?”

“That makes no sense at all. Get up from where?” “How about this: ‘I tweet therefore I am.’ That means that what I tweet defines who I am.”

“I tweet therefore I am? So you don’t exist right now?” “No. I exist, I’m just not tweeting.” “You’re not tweeting because you’re in jail.”

“I know I’m in jail. They’re holding me over til morning when I go before the judge. You have to post bail to get me out.” “I’ll be there.”

“I have one last question.” “Yes?” “Why am I tweeting?” “It’s a long story. I SAID A MINUTE! My tweets are evidence of the paradigm shift.”

“What’s a paradigm shift, a designer dress?” “A paradigm shift is a change in the way we view reality.” “Tell me again in plain English.”

“How about this: Do you believe the Earth is flat or round?” “Both.” “Huh?” “I KNOW the Earth is round, but I live on it as if it’s flat.”

“What do you mean?” “I don’t believe I’d fall off the Earth’s edge if I travel too far east or west.” “But you WOULD fall off a flat Earth!”

“Not if I stop soon enough. Why don’t I fall off a round Earth?” “Because of gravity!” “An invisible force keeping me from floating away?”

“Give me a break!” Arkaby yells “NO SHE’S NOT!” “What was that?” “Nothing. Comments from my fellow detainees. You don’t believe in gravity?”

“I’ll believe it when I see it.” A voice says “Deposit 25 cents to continue.” Arkaby says “This is my last quarter.” I hear a “Clink!”

“OK. Try this: Does the Sun circle the Earth or vice versa?” “Both.” “Really?” “Yes. I KNOW the Earth orbits the Sun. I live the opposite.”

“How can you live like Earth orbits the Sun?” “Everyone still thinks Earth is center of the universe. We still say ‘sunrise’ and ‘sunset.'”

“OK Forget all that. I was sent me to find you because someone is trying to change all of reality as we know it. That’s the paradigm shift.”

“Who told you that?” “Your father or your uncle or maybe a ghost.” “Did you fall and hit your head in jail?” “I know now it wasn’t any of them.”

(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery)

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