We Do Everything Alike! — Tweeted Mystery “The Golden Parachute” Continues

Here are Week 102 @Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!

“Triplets. Identical outside. Couldn’t be more different inside.” “Triplets are the same inside and out.” “I’m speaking metaphorically.”

“Of course they were the same inside, at least until Willum started fiddling with his DNA. I sometimes had trouble telling them apart.”

“Even though Dad had a mustache and Farley didn’t?” “Willum didn’t always sport that mustache. When I first met him he was clean shaven.”

Mom covers her face. “Regi, I’m sorry.” “Why?” “I don’t know which one is your father.” “What?” “Sh dsn’t knw whch s yr fthr.” “I got that.”

Mom takes my hand. “Any of the three could have been the one.” “It doesn’t matter. Their DNA was all the same. Willum Granger is my father.”

“Willum WAS your father. He became something else even before he was killed. Farley may be a family black sheep, but he’s all we have left.”

“Frly’s dd.” “What?” “FRLY’S DD!” “WHAT?” “Mom, Farley’s been murdered.” “When?” “Just now. They arrested Arkaby.” “The detective?” “Yes.”

“Why would Arkaby the detective want to kill Farley?” “He didn’t. I mean, he did, but he didn’t.” “Did he or didn’t he?” “Yes, he didn’t.”

B sits beside Mom. “Nw MY hd s swmmng.” “How did it happen?” “Farley went into his Safe Room and he never came out.” “Where did he go?”

“Nowhere. He was vaporized. We don’t know how.” “If you had gone into that Safe Room with him, you’d be dead too.” “I didn’t think of that.”

“Was Farley the actual target?” “Sure. It can’t have been Arkaby. He was just an innocent by-tweeter.” “Maybe you were the intended victim.”

“Me? Why would anyone want to kill me?” “After Farley, you are the last Granger.” “You just told me there’s another. What about Stuart?”

“Stuart is long gone.” “Are you sure? Arkaby claimed someone resembling Dad started this whole thing. He called him Dad’s doppelgänger.”

“That’s impossible! Stuart Granger was killed years ago in a bizarre accident.” “W dnt knw fr sr. Thy nvr fnd hs bdy.” “What do you mean?”

“W fnd hs hd bt hs bdy ws nvr fnd.” “SPEAK ENGLISH!” “What B said is we found his head, but not the rest of his body.” “He was decapitated?”

“We think so.” “What was he doing when he lost his head?” “H ws lkng fr nw wys t stck hs hd p hs ss.” “B!” “I take it you didn’t get along.”

“We were very young. If he were alive today I’d see him differently.” “M nt s fckng sre. Strt ws th typ f dck wh wntd t wtch th wrld brn.”

“Mom, did you understand any of that?” “Yes. B isn’t sure Stuart would be any different today.” “And you’re sure he’s dead?” “Positive.”

For a moment we are quiet. Then Mom says “Why do they think that detective did it?” “There’s bad blood between him and his supervisor.”

“Not surprising. I found his methods odd. “Also, he tweeted his fight with Farley just after he shot me.” “He accused himself?” “Kind of.”

“Why would he tweet self-incriminating information?” “Above all, Arkaby is a man of honor, a common man who travels mean streets.” “Bllsht.”

(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery)

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