“The same. When I realized the bench perp was A, who split your father and tried to kill us too, I knew what I had to do.” “What was that?”
Back in jail I shrugged off my shirt, slipping from his grasp. I said “A, why aren’t you somewhere serving out your solitary life sentence?”
A replied “Time off for good behavior.” “Good behavior? You committed PRE-premeditated 1st degree murder and violated the Physician’s Oath!”
A tossed my shirt to the side. “I was VERY good.” “It doesn’t work that way!” “I was part of an initiative to reduce prison overcrowding.”
I look around the crowded cell. “How’s that working out?” “I’m back!” “What did you do this time? Drown puppies?” “No. I ran a red light.”
A handed me my now-torn shirt. “What brings you to our prison?” I considered a moment and replied “I’m accused of killing Farley Granger.”
A laughed aloud, prompting cries from the other slumbering inmates. When he finished he said “Ha! Wait. You mean Stuart don’t you?’ “Who?”
“Stuart Granger, Willum’s twin.” “No. You’re thinking of the actor. Willum’s brother was named Farley.” Beside me in the car Regi says “Um.”
A said “Willum’s brother was Stuart.” “That’s not right. I met Farley before he died.” “Before you killed him?” “NO!” Regi says “Uh, Arkaby”
Present time, riding in a car beside Regi, I say “Give me a second here Reg, I’m tweeting my reminiscences of my time in jail.” “Yes, but…”
I pulled A up from the bench. “Listen Asshole! Stuart Granger was a movie actor! “King Solomon’s Mines”! (1949) “Prisoner of Zenda”! (1952)
I shook A. “Once I’m out of this hole I’ll prove it!” “Get your hands off me you damned dirty ape!” “No. That was Charleton Heston (1968)!”
Regi says “Arkaby, you were wrong. My father had duplicate brothers. One of them was Farley, the other was Stuart – not the actor.” “Huh?”
“My father Willum, Farley and Stuart were identical triplets. I never knew it myself until just now.” “That’s incredible!” “That’s not all.”
I pause my tweeting to look over at Regi. “What else could there possibly be?” “Mother isn’t 100% sure which brother was my true father.”
A said “What do you mean?” “Regi is unsure of her parentage.” Regi says “How could A ask that in the past?” I am getting my tweets mixed up.
I read back through my tweets. A said “Get your hands off me you damned dirty ape!” I said it that was Charleton Heston, not Stuart Granger.
Right. Now Regi tells me Willum Granger was one of identical triplets. Why was he so set on making clones of himself? He already had clones!
Any of the triplets might be Regi’s real father. A question occurs to me. “Regi, couldn’t you find your true father with a paternity test?”
Regi says “They were identical. Their DNA is the same.” “So it really doesn’t matter.” “OF COURSE IT MATTERS! WILLUM WAS MY FATHER!” “OK.”
Regi’s revelation hits me like the hot kiss at the end of a wet fist. THREE Grangers! ONE of them her father! TWO were his genetic replicas!
(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery)