That Wasn’t Supposed to Happen! — Tweeted Mystery “The Golden Parachute” Continues

From http://explodingactresses.tumblr.com/ by Simone Rovellini

Here are Week 113 @Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!

But ALL Regi’s elders met untimely ends! Wait. The THIRD Granger ISN’T dead! What’s HIS deal? “Regi, where is Stuart Granger?” “Dead.” Damn!

“Besides” Regi continues “he hasn’t made movies in years.” “I don’t mean the actor. I mean your uncle.” “Oh THAT Stuart Granger. Also dead.”

Damn! For a moment I thought I’d resolved a question nagging me since the beginning of this case. Who or what was Granger’s doppelgänger?

I was sitting in my Police Headquarters office when someone I thought was dead walked in. He looked just like Willum Granger, Regi’s father.

He may or may not have been a ghost, and now I’m not so sure he was Regi’s father. He claimed the world as we know it was coming to an end.

Was he playing games with me? Maybe. When he offered $50K to go get Regi I jumped at the chance. I would have done it for half that amount.

Had I known then what I know now I’d know a lot more now than I do. If Stuart is dead, who was that back when and will his check clear now?

“How did Stuart die?” Regi says “They found his head but not the rest of his body.” “Are they sure it was HIS head?” “Who else would it be?”

“Seems like there are many possibilities. How did they identify him as Stuart?” “I don’t know. Dental records?” “Maybe. DNA wouldn’t help.”

Had it been Stuart who set this whole thing in motion? “When did he die?” “I’m not sure. Probably when his head separated from his body.”

“No. What date, not what means.” “Oh. I don’t know. My mother and B just told me.” “Your mother and B?” “Yes. I saw them together at home.”

“Your mother and B are together?” “Yes. He’s moved into her Beeviary.” I’ve never heard it put that way. “She can understand what he says?”

“She understands him just fine.” “Even though B speaks only in consonants? Do you understand him?” “Not a word.” “Then how do you know?”

Regi remains silent. A Stuart Granger! How do I verify if he indeed is dead or if he is my doppelGranger? “They never found Stuart’s body?”

“Just his head.” “Strange. They don’t know how he died?” “Well, we can rule out suicide.” “I RULE OUT NOTHING!” “He cut off his own head?”

“Maybe.” Self-decapitation was not at the top of my list of likely solutions. I hate ceding any ground when it comes to crime deduction.

Regi’s disembodied news troubles me. I’ve sometimes lost my head, but I never had an out-of-body experience! Is Stuart Granger really dead?

Now I’ve got two murders to investigate. In both cases I start without an actual body of evidence, although Stuart does come out a head.

Regi says “One thing I don’t understand.” Good. Regi’s on the case with her unique perspective. “When do you find time to play Candy Crush?”

“Huh?’ “When I was tweeting for you I looked at your apps. When do you play Candy Crush?” “I don’t.” “You’re on level 237.” “No, I’m not.”

“Un Huh.” Changing the subject, Regi asks “You’ve tweeted how you lost your jacket and shirt. What happened to your pants?” “I’m not sure.”

(The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery)

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