I open my eyes. I’m still in the dark. I say “Where am I?” I hear Regi say “You are on the floor with your jacket pulled over your head.”
I pull my jacket down. Regi and her uncle Stuart stand over me. It was all a dream! I never spoke to the Body Part R Us IVR phone system!
Regi helps me up. As I retie my tie she asks “Why did you undress and go into defense mode?” “I heard you struggling and then you screamed.”
I glance at Stuart. “What happened? Did he attack you?” “No. I was showing him this dance move and he stepped on my foot.” “Seriously?”
Stuart says “I’ve got two left feet.” “TWO left feet? Did you get your feet replaced at Body Parts R Us?” “No! Why would you think that?”
“During cloning surgery Body Parts R Us doctors inadvertently swapped Willum’s left and right brain hemispheres.” “It’s just an expression.”
“They didn’t trip up cloning you?” “Why would I clone my feet?” “Your brother was a cloning freak.” “So I am too?” “If the shoe doesn’t fit”
Stuart says “I don’t support cloning. Some things we shouldn’t to meddle with.” “And yet Willum cloned himself to fight the Singularity.”
Stuart frowns “Cloning didn’t work out well for Willum.” “Only because his doctor sabotaged his surgery, for completely unrelated reasons.”
Regi says “Can super powers stop the Singularity?” Stuart says “There is an inconsistency with saving humanity by becoming less human.”
I say “I have one question. What dance move were you showing Stuart that looks like mortal combat?” After a pause, Regi shows me the move.
She dips and slides. She twists to the left. Pretty cool moves! She hops. She lifts her leg ballerina-like. She comes down on Stuart’s foot.
He shrieks “Yeaaah! You did it again!” Like a swift gut punch I realize the truth. I say “Stuart, it was you who screamed before not Regi.”
“So, you can find something, sometime. ” Stuart limps to the sofa. Regi says “Sorry. I was in the moment.” “No, you were on my foot…again!”
Now I’m confused. Regi and Stuart were dancing? That makes no sense! I say “I sprang to your defense because I thought Stuart attacked you.”
Stuart stands up, winces and sits back down. “Attack Regi? Why would I do that?” “It appears you stepped on each other’s feet.” They nod.
“You two have acted strangely since this began. What’s really going on?” They exchange glances and say “Nothing. We were just dancing.”
The front doorbell rings. Stuart says “Who’s that? Send them away!” Regi says “Are you expecting anyone?’ “Just keep quiet. I’ll go see.”
I look through the peep hole, open the door. Rixey and another cop stand there. “Hello. You guys pick swell hours to do your visiting in.”
“What is it this time?” “We got a complaint of screaming.” “Since when do you go out on 10-16 calls?” “Since I saw it was your address.”
Rixey continues “We want to talk to you, Arkaby.” “Go ahead and talk.” “We don’t have to do it out here, do we?” “You can’t come in.”
The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery !