Circling the Square — Live-Tweeted Mystery “The Golden Parachute” Continues

Here are Week 140 @Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!

Regi says “Give me the phone! Dad don’t go in Farley’s Safe Room!” “Don’t worry. I designed every inch of that Safe Room. It can’t hurt me.”

“Dad things have changed!” Still on the phone, Regi takes off down the corridor. “Something sprinkled Uncle Farley spray all over the room!”

I hear the tears in Regi’s voice “I haven’t had a chance to say how much it means to discover you’re still alive and how much I love you!”

“I want to see you again! I want you to make up for the father/daughter moments missed because you were too busy being a scientist/tycoon!”

Should I mention to Regi that she sounds a little passive/aggressive? Before I can she cries “Don’t get vaporized! Dad! Dad? He hung up!”

Running at full speed down the circular hallway, we pass the Concierge who once again is out jogging. He shouts ‘Miss Granger! Mr. Arkaby!”

He’s not at all out of breath as he trots beside us. He says “Well, I didn’t expect you back so soon.” “Granger’s back!” “I can see that.”

“Not Regi Granger, Willum Granger!” “What Willum?” “Yes!” “Willum Granger?” “YES!” “That’s impossible! He was cut in half!” “Not exactly!”

“He wasn’t cut exactly in half?” “He wasn’t cut in half at all.” “Willum Granger is alive and whole?” “For the moment.” Regi cries “Arkaby!”

We stop at the entrance to the Safe Room which is still sealed with police tape. The Concierge says “What do you mean ‘For the moment?'”

“As long as we don’t know who killed Farley Granger, or why, we can assume they will go after Willum Granger when they find out he’s alive.”

“Why would they do that?” “We don’t know.” Regi says “Dad will be OK as long as the killer doesn’t check your Twitter feed.” “Exactly.”

“What if the killer does follow you?” “Good idea!” “Huh?” “Attention Farley Granger killer! Turn yourself in now and we’ll go easy on you!”

“Now we wait.” Regi says “That’s not what I meant. My father is in danger right now!” “You don’t think a tweet is a sufficient deterrent?”

“NO! We must take immediate action!” “Hm. You may be right. Why don’t you get your father on the phone again?” “He’s still not answering.”

“Concierge, which way to my father’s lab?” He says “You don’t know?” “Everything’s different from last time I was here.” “Since yesterday?”

“Yes.” The Concierge looks right and left. Regi says “You don’t know either?” “Why do you think I’m always running around the corridor?”

When first I saw the Concierge circling the Body Parts R Us hallway I thought of a scene from ‘2001 A Space Odyssey’

With the ‘2001’ Jupiter ship in mind I consider anew the BP R U corridors circling Farley’s deadly Safe Room. Whose purpose do they serve?

“Concierge have these halls always been perfectly circular?” “No. They used to be squared. When I jogged I had to slow down at the corners.”

“Who ordered the change?” “I don’t know.” “Aren’t you in charge of the business side of Body Parts R Us?” “ME? I’m just the Concierge.”

The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery


Irregular Driving — Live-Tweeted Mystery “The Golden Parachute” Continues

Here are Week 139 @Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!


“WHY ARE YOU STOPPING AGAIN?” “You’re still shouting. I’m still solving this Twitter problem.” “TWITTER’S NOT WHAT’S IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW!”

Regi says “Arkaby, if you have no WIFI, how are you tweeting?” “That’s the Twitter problem I’m trying to solve.” “Hmm. Why don’t I drive?”

Regi climbs on my lap. She says “Is that a cell phone in your pocket or are you happy to see me?” I show her the cell phone in my hand.

Through gritted teeth I say “You’re on my keys.” Giggling, Regi replies “Your keys are in the ignition.” “So they are.” Granger says “Ahem!”

“I’m still back here.” I shift over to the passenger seat. Regi smiles at me, leans back to pat her father’s arm and puts the car in gear.

I’ve GOT to restore WIFI before we get to Body Parts R Us. If the paradigm has shifted, my Twitter feed may be the only link to our reality!

It’s all up to me. If I don’t restore my Twitter feed before we get to Body Parts R Us, who knows what era of history we’ll step out into?

Still no signal! Time is of the essence or who knows what time it will be! Regi slides the car into a empty spot “We’re here!” Times up!

“I still can’t get WIFI. Drive around.” “You have no signal?” “None.” “Did you check if you’re in Airplane Mode?” “Don’t be redic…Umm.”

Opps! I tap my phone and the WIFI icon lights up. All my stored tweets pour out onto the Internet. Regi smiles and hands me my car keys.

“That could happen to anyone.” “Uh huh. We weren’t flying.” “Let’s get your father inside.” We turn to the backseat. Willum Granger is gone!

Before we react to his disappearance my phone rings. “Hello?” “This is Granger. Have you two sorted out your phone service? I’m in my lab.”

“You can’t go in there alone!” “I can and I did.” Regi takes the phone “Dad! Your life is in danger! Uncle Farley was killed in there!”

As we rush toward the entrance I say “Why did you leave?” “I got bored. You spend too much time on Twitter.” “Don’t go near the Safe Room!”

We enter the circular hallway girdling the Body Parts R Us complex. Stretching off everywhere right and left are signs of reconstruction.

“Which way to your father’s lab?’ Regi looks right and left and says “I don’t know. This is completely different from last time I was here.”

“Since yesterday?” “Yes.” “It’s changed that much?” “Yes.” From my phone Granger says “I’m still here. Go right.” “My right or your right?”

Granger doesn’t reply at first. “How would you know which is my right way?” “You’re the one directing. Do you know the right way or not?”

“I know your right way. I don’t know if you know my right way.” “I don’t. That’s why I’m asking.” I don’t either.” “Don’t what?” “Know.”

After a moment I sort that out. “What don’t you know?” “I don’t know if you know my right from my left.” “Then why are you wasting my time?”

The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery

Parallel Universe Parking — Live-Tweeted Mystery “The Golden Parachute” Continues


parking animated GIF

Here are Week 138 @Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!

“Not quite? Either I’m immortal or I’m not! There’s no not quite immortal.” “Arkaby is trying to say we don’t know yet if you are immortal.”

“We’ll just have to wait and see.” “Humph!” I say “One thing is certain. Final disposition of your body will be a whole new undertaking.”

“Arkaby is trying to say your clone is completely intact.” “The body you found hasn’t decomposed?” “You may be mortal but imperishable.”

I say “Was that what you were trying to accomplish with all your DNA manipulation?” “No! Why would I want to make my corpse indestructible?”

“I figured you went with rewriting your DNA as palindromes and the non-decaying corpse was an unintended consequence.” “That’s ridiculous!”

We get in my car. I step on the gas and head for Body Parts R Us. Then I pull over to send this tweet. Granger says “What are you doing?”

“I shouldn’t drive and tweet at the same time.” “Must you tweet? This will take forever!” “It’s better than the alternative.” “What’s that?”

“What happens if you drive-tweet?” “I have a tendency to out-of-body experiences.” “You lose your mind?” Regi says “More like the opposite.”

“He loses his body?” I say “Not exactly. I may enter a multitasking fugue. Last time it happened I attempted parallel universe parking.”

“What’s parallel universe parking?” “My mind left my body and I tried to park in two different spots at once.” Granger looks unconvinced.

I continue “That’s how I ended up prepped for surgery at Body Parts R Us.” “You couldn’t get your mind and your body back together again?”

“No. The guy I cut off for the second spot decked me. I’m not going to risk that again.” After a moment Granger says “We could call a cab.”

“No. I got this.” Regi says “What’s our plan?” “I’ll let you know as soon as I have one.” Granger says “I want to see Farley’s Safe Room.”

“There’s not much to see. Just an empty room with pink-coated furnishings. He wasn’t much of an interior decorator before he was vaporized.”

“We’re stopping again?” “For a moment. Damn!” “At a loss for words to tweet?” “No. I don’t have signal. I must have stopped in a dead zone.”

“You can’t tweet?” “No signal.” “Can we go?” “In a minute. I’m switching to cellular. Damn!” “Still can’t tweet?” “I’m not getting through.”

Regi says “Did you check your battery?” “Battery’s good. No signal.” “If you move the car, maybe your reception will improve.” “Good idea.”

I get no WIFI signal at any other stopping point on the way to Body Parts R Us. Could the entire Internet be down? How could that happen?

I say “It happened again!” Regi says “What’s happened?” “There is only one explanation for this WIFI blackout. We’ve phased in time again.”

Granger says “No!” “I’ve got this covered.” “No!” “Yes. We’ve been through this before. To unphase I just review my Twitter feed and…uh oh.”

Regi says “How can you review your Twitter feed if you have no WIFI?” “I got that.” Granger says “NO!” “Can you ask your Dad not to shout?”

The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery

A Real Down-to-Earth Guy — Live-Tweeted Mystery “The Golden Parachute” Continues

Here are Week 137 @Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!

“As a Dickensian other-worldly visitation it made perfect sense that you’d exhort me to save the world from a time-altering paradigm shift.”

“It did?” “Sure. What always struck me as odd was your insistence I find Regi and return her to the States. Why would a ghost want that?”

“I never said I was a ghost.” “Yes you did.” Again I scroll back through my Twitter feed. I read “‘You’re not a ghost?’ You replied ‘No.'”

“That’s quite ambiguous. Did you mean ‘No, I’m not a ghost’, or ‘No, I am a ghost’?” Willum says “I see where it might confuse some people.”

“You left open the question of whether you were a clone and I took it from there.” “Where did you take it?” “I called Body Parts R Us.”

“You called BP R U? Why?” “To ask Dot or Dash if they had built a clone of you.” “That’s not how cloning works.” “That’s what they said.”

Regi says “There’s so much I don’t understand. If that wasn’t you severed by A’s malpractice, who was it? Was that what happened to Stuart?”

Willum says “That wasn’t Stuart. Those were my own cloned parts from the lab. I don’t know what happened to him. I assume he’s really dead.”

“What about Farley?” “That wasn’t me.” I say “Despite defenses someone got to him.” “He should have known you can run but you can’t hide.”

Is that right? Isn’t it you can hide but can’t run? I’m not sure how many surgeries Granger endured, but I think something still is loose.

Before I can consult my urban dictionary, Regi says “Why did you stay away so long?” “I had to be sure you were safe before I could act.”

“Safe from what?” “I know it sounds crazy, but everything I said to Arkaby is true. Some one or thing is bringing about a paradigm shift.”

“After all we’ve seen, it doesn’t sound at all crazy. What’s our next move?” They look at me. I say “We return to the seen of the crime.”

They stare at me in confusion. Finally Willum says “Which scene of which crime?” “I’ve got the heat breathing down my neck about Farley.”

“Heat? Oh yes, your own department head accused you of Farley’s murder. Why did they do that?” Regi says “He forced us into his Safe Room.”

“That’s a motive?” “Farley shot at me but hit Regi.” Regi holds up a bandaged arm. “Ah. Then why did they blame you?” “They don’t like me.”

“I find that hard to believe.” Nobody likes a smart aleck, even if he’s just returned from the dead. Regi says “Oh, he’s likable enough.”

“One thing bothers me. If that wasn’t you we found severed that day, how did your body end up at Regi’s medical school?” “That wasn’t me.”

Regi says “We figured that. Who was it?” “I don’t know. I assume my clone parts were buried at the Founder’s Memorial Cemetery, as planned.”

I say “They had a dead start at Founder’s, but they walked. That’s not the weird part. They were your clone parts and they didn’t decay.”

The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery