Parallel Universe Parking — Live-Tweeted Mystery “The Golden Parachute” Continues


parking animated GIF

Here are Week 138 @Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!

“Not quite? Either I’m immortal or I’m not! There’s no not quite immortal.” “Arkaby is trying to say we don’t know yet if you are immortal.”

“We’ll just have to wait and see.” “Humph!” I say “One thing is certain. Final disposition of your body will be a whole new undertaking.”

“Arkaby is trying to say your clone is completely intact.” “The body you found hasn’t decomposed?” “You may be mortal but imperishable.”

I say “Was that what you were trying to accomplish with all your DNA manipulation?” “No! Why would I want to make my corpse indestructible?”

“I figured you went with rewriting your DNA as palindromes and the non-decaying corpse was an unintended consequence.” “That’s ridiculous!”

We get in my car. I step on the gas and head for Body Parts R Us. Then I pull over to send this tweet. Granger says “What are you doing?”

“I shouldn’t drive and tweet at the same time.” “Must you tweet? This will take forever!” “It’s better than the alternative.” “What’s that?”

“What happens if you drive-tweet?” “I have a tendency to out-of-body experiences.” “You lose your mind?” Regi says “More like the opposite.”

“He loses his body?” I say “Not exactly. I may enter a multitasking fugue. Last time it happened I attempted parallel universe parking.”

“What’s parallel universe parking?” “My mind left my body and I tried to park in two different spots at once.” Granger looks unconvinced.

I continue “That’s how I ended up prepped for surgery at Body Parts R Us.” “You couldn’t get your mind and your body back together again?”

“No. The guy I cut off for the second spot decked me. I’m not going to risk that again.” After a moment Granger says “We could call a cab.”

“No. I got this.” Regi says “What’s our plan?” “I’ll let you know as soon as I have one.” Granger says “I want to see Farley’s Safe Room.”

“There’s not much to see. Just an empty room with pink-coated furnishings. He wasn’t much of an interior decorator before he was vaporized.”

“We’re stopping again?” “For a moment. Damn!” “At a loss for words to tweet?” “No. I don’t have signal. I must have stopped in a dead zone.”

“You can’t tweet?” “No signal.” “Can we go?” “In a minute. I’m switching to cellular. Damn!” “Still can’t tweet?” “I’m not getting through.”

Regi says “Did you check your battery?” “Battery’s good. No signal.” “If you move the car, maybe your reception will improve.” “Good idea.”

I get no WIFI signal at any other stopping point on the way to Body Parts R Us. Could the entire Internet be down? How could that happen?

I say “It happened again!” Regi says “What’s happened?” “There is only one explanation for this WIFI blackout. We’ve phased in time again.”

Granger says “No!” “I’ve got this covered.” “No!” “Yes. We’ve been through this before. To unphase I just review my Twitter feed and…uh oh.”

Regi says “How can you review your Twitter feed if you have no WIFI?” “I got that.” Granger says “NO!” “Can you ask your Dad not to shout?”

The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery


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