Gravity is Just a Theory — Live-Tweeted Mystery “The Golden Parachute” Continues

Here are Week 141 @Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!

“Who gave the order to turn the square into a circle, and why?” “It had to be Farley Granger. He has the final say on all construction.”

“Farley’s dead.” “He HAD the final say.” “It doesn’t make sense that Farley Granger would order this reconstruction of all these hallways.”

Regi says “Circle or square, why does it matter what shape the hallway is in?” “If I’m correct, it makes all the matter in the universe.”

I stand at the police-taped entrance to Farley’s Safe Room and gesture right and left. “Where have you seen a structure shaped like this?”

The Concierge says “A submarine?” “A circular submarine?” “I mean the closeness and sense of claustrophobia.” Regi says “A hamster habitat?”

They do look like a submarine hamster habitat but that doesn’t support my theory. “These halls look like the Jupiter spacecraft in ‘200l.'”

Regi looks dubious “No they don’t.” “You don’t see it? It’s obvious as the nose on the Concierge’s face.” The Concierge says “No it isn’t.”

Regi says “OK, so it looks like a space ship. What does it mean?” “Someone is trying to generate artificial gravity in Body Parts R Us.”

The Concierge says “That’s ridiculous. We don’t need to generate artificial gravity. We’ve got enough of the natural kind to go around.”

I say “There’s no other possible explanation for why someone would convert square hallways into a circle.” Regi says “What about hamsters?”

What about hamsters? Regi’s question makes me stop and think. It this reconstruction is for hamsters wouldn’t the passages be a lot smaller?

And why would hamsters need artificial gravity anyway? I say “This is bigger than hamsters.” The Concierge says “But just as unlikely.”

“Do you have a better reason for the creation of your circular halls?” “I would know if someone here was generating artificial gravity.”

“You can distinguish artificial from real gravity?” “I don’t. I give both equal weight.” The Concierge’s answer makes me feel light-headed.

He asks “Where does is your artificial gravity come from anyway?” “Just as the Earth rotates on its axis, we are rotating around BP R U.”

Regi says “If there’s artificial reality shouldn’t we feel heavier?” “Artificial reality?” “I said gravity.” “You said reality.” “I didn’t.”

I show Regi my Twitter feed. “See? You said reality.” “That’s what you said I said. Who do you believe, me or your lying Twitter account?”

I don’t have an answer. Luckily I have a solution. “OK. You said gravity. No. You wouldn’t feel heavier if the artificial gravity is 1G.”

“The point is the entire Body Parts R Us building is now one huge centrifuge.” The Concierge says “That makes no sense. Who would do that?”

“Our scientists are involved with cloning body parts. They don’t use artificial gravity to do their work.” “Someone altered your building.”

“These are all very complex things. Gravity where did it come from?” “Isaac Newton discovered gravity. Before him it was a matter of faith.”

The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery

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