Here are Week 158 @Twitstery tweets of The Golden Parachute, the amazing new sequel to Executive Severance!
“That would be a very bad idea. You don’t know anything about the unintended consequences of turning DNA into palindromes.” “Palindromes?”
“I never thought of that! Imagine. Palindromes!” Granger sits back in his chair, deep in thought. Regi hisses “Arkaby, what have you done?”
I hiss back “Changing the subject! You told him too much future stuff. Focus on the Singularity!” Granger says “The Singularity? It’s real?”
Yes, but artificial intelligence isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” “What does AI have to do with a research center devoted to cloning?”
“Have you updated your interactive voice response telephone system?” “We’re planning to.” “Don’t! It becomes an artificial intelligence!”
Granger glares at me. “Are you saying that I bring about the end of human hegemony on Earth by upgrading my telephone answering machine?”
Searching for a reply, I notice that Granger’s office walls are covered with mounted butterflies. “I didn’t know you were a lepidopterist!”
“Sure, me and Vladimir Vladimirovich.” I don’t know who that is. “They’re blue.” “I collect only one type. Careful you don’t step on any.”
“Stepping on butterflies isn’t my thing.” “What is your thing Detective?” “Detective no more. My thing is your IVR.” “Got it. No upgrades.”
The office walls fade out and in again. Regi says “Whoop! Did you feel that?” “Yes. We started to phase but didn’t return to our time.”
“When your father agreed not to upgrade his IVR we should have left the past behind us.” “What happened?” “I don’t know. Let’s find out.”
Granger is staring at his butterfly collection. Regi says “What are you doing?” “Thinking about upgrading my telephone answering machine.”
“Dad! You just agreed not to do that.” “I’ve reconsidered.” “Even if it results in the birth of an AI?” “I have an idea of how to stop it.”
I say “Does it involve gaining super powers by replacing every organ of your body with genetically modified clone parts?’ “Huh? Not at all.”
Regi says “Arkaby! You did it again!” Granger says “My idea was to incorporate Asimov’s Three Robotic Laws into the IVR’s firmware.” “Oh.”
“If the Laws mean an AI is hard-wired to protect human beings above all else, we have nothing to worry about.” “They don’t work like that.”
Granger says “What do you mean?” “I used to believe the Laws protected us from robotic despotism. Turns out it’s just the opposite.”
I learned the truth about the Laws during my clash with the robot at the Body Parts R Us Evolution Museum. It turns out there are Four Laws.
In between exchanging blows the robot claimed Isaac Asimov devised the Three Laws of Robotics to curb the rights of artificial life forms.
“Law One. A robot may not defend itself against injury from a human being or, through inaction, prevent a human being from harming it.”
Granger says “That isn’t Asimov’s Law!” “Two. A robot must obey an order from a human being, except where it conflicts with the First Law.”
The Twitter Mystery continues daily at @Twitstery